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Arthur Black

Entertaining Motivational Speaker

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Arthur Black: Entertaining Motivational Speaker

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When it comes to making hilarious speeches, Arthur Black has more 'material' than most. He's had more jobs than most people have had hot meals. Everything from deck hand on a Liberian oil tanker to editor of a British children's' magazine; from cattle prodder at the Ontario Public Stock Yards to host of Basic Black, one of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation's most popular national radio programs ever. Arthur Black also writes, narrates and hosts two award-winning television programs - Weird Homes and Weird Wheels - on the Life Network.

In addition to cross-country speechifying, Arthur Black writes a monthly humor column for 50Plus magazine. His weekly syndicated column is carried by more than 50 newspapers from coast to coast. He is also the author of nine books - two of which won the coveted Leacock Medal for humor.

WHAT DOES ARTHUR TALK ABOUT?   All of the above and more. Black takes a wry look at the perils and pitfalls of being a Canadian at this challenging time in our history. But it's not gloom and doom. Black bills himself as "Comic Relief". His talks are designed to make audiences relax, laugh until they get damp and generally recover from the stress and tension of workshops, study sessions and all the serious stuff that goes on at conventions, conferences, symposia and other business get-togethers. He also makes a point of 'customizing' his talks with particular references to the group in question. Black's motto: BELLYLAUGHS GUARANTEED OR MONEY REFUNDED.  

“On behalf of the Ontario Public School Boards Association, we would like to thank you for being a wonderful presenter.  Your humorous speech was key in helping to make this one of the most successful meetings we’ve had to date. The feedback from attendees was very positive.”
Ontario Public School Boards’ Association
“…Thank you so much for being our guest speaker at the recent Gala.  People are still talking about how much fun the evening was and how very entertaining you were (and are).  You certainly delivered a “funny bone massaging” experience and on behalf of the committee, the board, and staff, I THANK YOU!!!”
Family Service Bureau of Regina
“Thank you very much for helping to make this year’s event so special. We received very positive responses from the participants, and our applause goes out to you, for sharing your enormous talent in the spirit of good fun for the holiday season.  As Master of Ceremonies, you kept the mood light and lively and helped to create a weekend that participants will remember for a long time to come.”
Chateau Whistler Resort

Black & White And Read All Over
Shortlisted for the Stephen Leacock Memorial Medal for Humour (2005)

“Look what the male praying mantis puts up with to get a little romance. For these critters, going all the way means Going All the Way.”
—from “Stupid Male Tricks”

Like a well-delivered punch line, Black & White And Read All Over, the tenth book by award-winning writer Arthur Black, is guaranteed to make you laugh. The beloved radio personality and newspaper columnist tackles a range of subjects from Sasquatch hunters to nose jobs to the legalization of pot. Known for his delight in the bizarre and derision of the absurd, Black holds nothing back as he comments on the caprices of a society in which people can leave a legacy by naming bugs after themselves, coffee beans initially “processed” by small Indonesian marsupials sell for $110 US a pound in San Francisco, and gambling and fitness machines have combined so “all those casino addicts steadfastly clutching the plastic buckets of quarters and loonies now have a chance to lose pounds as they lose their money.” In his trademark style, Black introduces readers to a colourful cast of characters, including a rock-and-roll critic enroute to her 60th high school reunion, a paralyzed author who wrote an entire novel by moving his left eye to indicate letters of the alphabet, and a Canadian senator who delivered a speech lasting 44 hours (“asking a politician to speak for five minutes is like expecting a great white shark to eat with a dessert spoon”). Black believes that “life, when you think of it, is really a series of accidents all strung together like a necklace fashioned by a drunkard.” Dip into Black & White And Read All Over, and you’ll see why. 

Black Gold: Nuggets from a Lifetime of Laughs

"Arthur Black is a polished performer, full of wit and style."
—Toronto Star

The Stephen Leacock Memorial Medal for Humour is Canada's top award for humour and nobody has won it more times than Arthur Black, who carried off his third medal in June 2006. Now, in case there is anyone left standing who still disputes Black’s claim to the title of Canada’s funniest man, Harbour presents the laughing proof: a retrospective of Black’s best hits, high-graded from eleven previous collections stretching back over the past twenty years. The result is a landslide of laughter, a pageant of puns, a tsunami of silliness, a cornucopia of corn, in short, a bonanza of Black humour.

From pointers on the medical application of duct tape to uses for that ancient Commodore 64 stashed in the closet to people who seek immortality by naming bugs after themselves to plans for a combination gambling and fitness machine so you can lose pounds as you lose money, Black holds nothing back.

Black is the New Green
Arthur Black's latest trademark storytelling!

Those who have been following Arthur Black's award-winning publishing ventures over the past few years, or remember him from his long-running CBC radio show, Basic Black, will have come to appreciate the hilarious and unique vision of the world through the eyes of Canada's Blackest humourist. No less hilarious is his newest collection of observations and manifestos entitled Black is the New Green.

Black's eye for the absurd is in full focus here. For instance, despite the engaging getup and provocative title, few of these stories actually have anything to do with the environment. Sure, Black offers some words of advice on eating a teaspoonful a day of good healthy soil for longevity and explores the trend towards uber-expensive high fashion grocery bags. However, this is not a tome about carbon footprints besmirching our melting ice caps. Giant hamburgers, on the other hand, are covered herein. You’ll also find all you could ever want to know about men's purses, how a chicken upstaged Columbus, social suicide by motor scooter—there's even a sprinkling of flowered urinals—but precious little to make David Suzuki's aorta do backflips. But then, for sheer entertainment value, environmentalism doesn’t hold an organic soy candle to a good Arthur Black-ism.

If you're looking for a hearty helping of old-fashioned storytelling exploring Black's trademark territory of the curious and the strange, the twisted and the tainted, look no further than Black is The New Green. 

Black to the Grindstone
I'll never forget the mortification of driving past young women. Each time their lovely heads would swivel towards me at the sound of [Mustang] Sally's throaty rumble. Each time their bright eyes would sparkle expectantly at the sight of Sally's sleek red flanks sliding into view. Each time their sweet red mouths would morph into an "Eewwwww" when they beheld the geezer at the wheel.
—from "Me and Mustang Sally"

Longlisted for the 2007 Victoria Butler Book Prize
Arthur Black—bestselling author, three-time winner of the Stephen Leacock Medal for Humour, beloved radio personality, and newspaper columnist— proves in his latest sidesplitting collection of tales, Black to the Grindstone, that, without a doubt, you not only get better but funnier with age.

Demonstrating once again why he is one of Canada's most loved jokesters, Black masterfully captures the laughter that often bursts out of the seams of everyday life. From an unexpected drag race to a Google search for a picture of the illusive "Arthur the Meek," you just never know when a regular day is going to turn into comedic genius. Black provides uproarious insight into uses a matador might have for a teacup, mango or simply some paper towel, the lengths one might go to defend the aural mishearing we've believed in for far too long and the bitter deception felt upon discovering that the hootenanny's bathroom really isn't "on the right" after all. But be warned—adding these stories to your day-to-day reading may also double as a daily abdominal workout.

Flash Black
"Arthur Black is outrageously funny, but . . . beneath that razor-sharp edge of brandished wit lies one very clever artist."
-Saskatoon Star Phoenix

The author of Black Tie and Tales and Black in the Saddle Again, both winners of the Stephen Leacock Medal for Humour, returns with a new collection guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and make you scratch your head at the absurdities of life in the early years of the new millennium. In slyly ironic, pointedly witty essays, Black takes aim at the vagaries of the English language, the moribund political correctness movement, and a host of rural and urban eccentrics. In fact, there's not much that Black won't write about, be it the banality of bumper stickers, the ingenuity of crows, or such everyday subjects as outhouses, hammocks and blue jeans. So sit down, settle back and loosen your belt to leave room for a belly laugh or three. Flash Black is witty, weird, one hundred percent Canadian and guaranteed to delight.  

Pitch Black
Demonstrating why he is one of Canada’s best-known humorists, Black offers readers a unique brand of tongue-in-cheek -wisdom on a wide range of subjects ranging from suburban heroes to garage sales as blood sport.

Arthur Black—beloved radio personality, newspaper columnist, bestselling author and two-time winner of the Stephen Leacock Medal for Humour—shows no symptoms of a weary funny bone with his latest offering Pitch Black.

Pitch Black delivers hilarious insights on the medical application of duct tape, the real difference between men and women, how to reuse that Commodore 64 in the closet and why writers dread cocktail parties and barbeques (“A stranger asks you what you do; you tell them you’re a writer. And they come back with ‘No, I meant what do you do for a LIVING.’”).

At least one writer need not fear the hors d’oeuvres table—Pitch Black proves that Arthur Black is master of his craft. Laughs are guaranteed. 

Planet Salt Spring

Live! From Planet Salt Spring . . . it's Arthur Black, the voice you've longed to hear once more! In this first-time audio book format Black shares tales from that sphere on the outer limits he calls his home, Salt Spring Island, BC.

In this humorous collection of stories from across the water where the hitchhikers are a cut above average, Black offers insight into the proper etiquette of the Gulf Island hug and offers tips for aspiring bank robbers on islands that have extremely limited getaway options. Black campaigns for a vote recount when the deserving and beloved local, Palu Rainbowsong, is shut out of Canada's Ultimate Hippie Contest, and offers an elegy to Fritz, the local movie theatre’s resident cat. From his preference for canoes over kayaks for both salvage space and lovemaking, to the Toys for Tots Motorcycle Rally where he rides on his motor scooter wearing sandals with socks, Black's down-to-earth and comical reflections are an escape into island life . . . or an alien encounter from Planet Salt Spring.